Not a good day

My run of good days has hit a glitch. I've had a couple of difficult nights sleep and today was a struggle to get out of bed. Sort of made myself useful round the house and completed a set of sickness forms the work has sent me for the Long Term Disability Plan that they provide for their employees.

Feeling a bit better this afternoon until I went to feed Georgie the hamster. Sadly she had died. For me this is doubly upsetting for not only was she our pet but I bought her on my first day of absence with Depression way back in November and it reminds me of how long I've been ill for.

Thank you, sir

Well I survived, in fact I quite enjoyed the experience despite the pouring rain.

The afternoon didn't get off to a great start I was later than I wanted to be arriving at the ground and found out that an assesor had been sent and was waiting for me. He explained to me that the away team was a little light on numbers, they only had 10 instead of 15 fortunately the away team were going to loan them some players to even things up.

It was a bit one sided, the home team won 53-0 but on the whole both teams enjoyed themselves. I spent awhile trying to work out if the teams were taking the Mick. Almost every decision I gave was meet with a "Thank you, sir" or "Sir,Sir" with a hand stuck up in the air schoolboy style. It was only after 15 minutes that I realised that the "Thank you, sir" was a fairly standard response to a referee and the "Sir,Sir" was some wanting to check that they were far enough back.

Finished the game and was thanked by the teams (a sign that I did a good job). Spoke to the assessor who told that I had done very well for my first game. I was obviously nervous at the start, but as the game went on it was clear I was growing in confidence. I truly enjoyed it and I'm now waiting to see if I've got a game next week. :-)

Eeekk!

I've done it now!

I joined the Rugby Referees Society and attended their monthly meeting on Monday. I was talking to the appointments secretary and he asked if I could do a game at the weekend. I assumed he had in mind a nice simple U-13's I am a newbie after all. WRONG!

Got a phone call this evening from a local club saying I'd been appointed to there game, fair enough. Only problem is that game is a full blown adult game and a league one at that!! Oh heck. The only saving grace is that its the lowest league in the county and neither club a vying for promotion so its only honour at stake - mine! Could be interesting if I've got to tell someone off, all 5'7" of me looking up at some 6'4" Lock Forward {RobW thinks about taking some step ladders with him}

In other news:

Went running again this morning - it was either that or more brick stroke at the pool

The first trains have now run on the model railway. The loop hasn't been completed yet but thin controller and I had good fun running the trains in and out of the station area.

Now where did I put that rulebook....

Going up

Had a strange experience this morning. Got up early put on some sports clothing and went for a run! This is my first run for 2 weeks and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even did some cross country. Tell the truth that was the best bit, middle of a field all on my own.

As regular readers may have gathered my spirits are on their way up. I'm still waking up at odd times but the sleep I am getting is much more refreshing. This is making me feel much better in myself. Having said that I'm not rushing back to work, I'm still signed off for another 3 weeks. My plan is have a sustained settled time before going back.

Been busy with the model railway. The station area track is almost all laid and is waiting to be wired up. I then need to build some more baseboards and lay the rest of the track. Only problem is this is taking up more space than I expected. Could be a tight squeeze!

Yellow Belt and County Champions

Big and Small W did MrsW and I proud this weekend.


Small W passed his Karate yellow belt on Saturday, it may only be the first of the coloured belts but he is only 5 year old. I wasn't able to go to the grading but Mrs W brought back some pictures

I going to have to rename him as well. His rugby group have nicknamed him "Pocket Rocket" and the name seems to have stuck at home. Sums him up nicely

As for Big W his team won the Hampshire Rugby County Championships for the U-10 age group. He was a star, his scrummaging with first class and his clearing out was brilliant (He's a front row). I suspect a few players are carrying bruises from close encounters with him and that's just his own team! The coaching staff are relieved for winning today as this has been the one tournament that has eluded the team over the past couple of years and its the most important. The kids certainly enjoyed it as they gave a rendition of "We are the Champions" after the final whistle.

The one down point is that for reasons known only to the tournament organisers extra time was not to be played after any of the knockout games. A draw was to be resolved by a toss of the coin. We got through our semi-final that way the opposition and our great local rivals where absolutely gutted. Its just not fair to do that to kids especially as they played their hearts out. I hope the organisers get the message loud and clear We would rather play extra time and be late than have to subject 10 year olds to that. Having said all that the boys deserved their stroke of good luck and put up the performance of the day in the final. Well Done guys.

Bike Bits

This seems to have been a long week, which is odd considering I've been off work, normally the days just flow into one another. Its been a busy week. Lead a Personal Acheivement Time (PAT) activity at the school on Wednesday Afternoon and all day Thursday.
It was supposed to be bike mechanics but ended up being "See how many bits we can get the headmistresses bike into". I had a group of 5 kids between 7 and 11. Unfortunately explaining how a bike works to a group of 7 year olds goes over their head by quite some difference. We did however manage to get the bike stripped down to its frame, even got the forks off. The Head was quite pleased as it all fitted in black bag ready for the dump.

Went swimming this morning with MrsW, me to the slow lane her to the fast lane. She swims like a fish I just do the brick stroke. Found it quite hard work but then I was using muscles I don't normally use - or that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Sleep is still improving, had a couple of wake-ups but found it quite easy to get back to sleep which is an improvement on the tossing and turning

Change of time

Saw my own Doc (and a medical student) on Monday and come out with a 4 week sicknote, though I've to go back in a couple of weeks for a review. We discussed a few things including upping the dose of my medication from 20mg to 30mg and when I take it.
I take mine in the morning but she suggested I tried taking it in the evening as Citalopram has a sedative like effect and this help me sleep. Yesterday was the first time I tried it and guess what I got the best nights sleep I've had for months. RESULT! Before I get too carried away I need to see if this becomes a consistent thing over the next week and a bit. If it is then I may be making my way out of the woods.

Two steps forward one step back

Had another meeting with the company doctor on Thursday. First thing I tell him is that I'm off sick again. He tells me that he was quite concerned when we last met 3 weeks ago. His suspicion was that although I seemed quite calm on the outside everything was far from calm under the surface and I was only surviving through my determination to keep going. He told me that if I had still been at work I would have been facing some very searching questions from him.

What now? Well he would like to see me before I return to work and I've got a provisional appointment for 4 weeks time. Reading between the lines I think that means he expects me to be off work for at least that long. Got an appointment with my own doctor on Monday to be assessed again and be signed off again.

Change is as good as a rest

Was at a Governors meeting last night when the Head mentioned that the ICT replacement had on the whole gone well but there was still a couple of teething problems. I piped up and said I was off-sick again so would drop in to have a word in the morning.

Last time I was off I found working at the school very pleasing so I thought it might do me some good. It turned out to be quite a hard day but it was also a very pleasing day. Sorted out a lot of the IT problems and had an interesting meeting with a pupil. He is autistic and is quite a handful at times especially at trying to run away. I was in one of computer areas when he came out of his class and stopped looking at what I was doing. His teacher ws close on his heels, she was trying to take him back but he wanted to watch me work on this computer. I said it was Ok from him to sit down and stay until his support assistant came back from the errand she was on.

He's a bright kid we talked all about his old and new computer and what he liked doing he even said bye when his support assistant came back and took him into his class.

Downside is I think I spent too much time at the school and I'm now wiped out, however I think I made a difference today and for that the effort was worth it.

No I didn't

Had a rough nights sleep last night and was a bit difficult to get going this morning. What could that mean? Probably that my wellbeing and work aren't back to being compatible yet. Picked up the phone, spoke to the receptionist at the Doctors Surgery and arranged a weeks sick note. Got an appointment to see the Doc on Monday next week while I was at it. Then phoned work and left a voicemail for the boss.

Oh yeah I must be mad. Went running in the freezing run and I'm not preparing for a race - total bonkers if you ask me.

Decisions Decisions

Its time to decide. My self certification time runs out today. Do I

1) Go back to work

or

2) Get a doctors note - Doc has said she is quite happy to write one

I'm feeling better, I think I'm sleeping better but its difficult to judge as there has been a number of night time visits by the kids distrubing everyones sleep. Ran this morning because I wanted to run, though I didn't have the determination to push it hard.

I've got most of my stuff sorted out for going to work. I've even got the cycling gear looked out.

My intent is to go to work, but something is nagging at me. The best thing is probably to sleep on it. If I have a good nights sleep then I must be OK and I'll go to work. If I don't get a good nights sleep then I'm not ready and I'll get a note from the Doc. Sound fair?

Trying to relax

Got little sympathy from MrsW this morning - was rudely awoken from my dozing by a pair of flying pyjamas. No nothing to get excited about! Today has drifted by in a sea of minor chores, mindless stuff really go collect a perscription, pay in a cheque that sort of stuff. Really boring stuff but at least I feel if contributed something.

Sneaked out at lunchtime for a run, did the reverse of my country run from a few days ago. I can indeed confirm that no matter what country lanes always go up. If anything the reverse is tougher, couple of nasty kicks that hide themselves from you as they go round a corner. Didn't wear my HRM as I wasn't interested in it, only really bothered with the Garmin when I got back. Overall an enjoyable 7 miles. What running is all about.

Off the front line again

I've had a rocky couple of weeks at work. Got a big shock on Monday when I ws told someone I work with was in hospital with a minor heart-attack, things culminated yesterday when I didn't get out of bed until gone 9, then sat on the edge of the bed thinking I wasn't up to going to work.

Duly took the hint and called in sick, though I said I might be in for the afternoon. Decided against that and stayed off for the whole day. By co-incidence I had a Doctors appointment this morning so we had a chat about it. I've been reluctant to take time off because I don't want to be seen as a shirker - but then I'm not a shirker. I've been in enough tough situations and respected enough by my peers and managers to prove that beyond doubt. The reason I'm not looking forward to going to work is because I'm unwell.

I've been toughing it out at work in the hope it was going to get better - its not and I'm in danger of running out of energy. So I agreed with my Doc that I'll take upto my 7 days of self-certificated sickness before re-assessing. She suggested signing me off for 2 weeks but work won't let me back while I'm covered by a sick note. If I'm up to it I can go back to work next week, if not I just need to phone the Doc and she'll sign me off without needing to see her again.

Went to see the chap who was ill. He hadn't actually had a heart-attack but a mini-stroke or TIA for the medics amongst us. He's been discharged from hospital but has to undergo further tests as they haven't been able to find a cause for it. As you can imagine he's had a shock and still hasn't got full feeling back in his fingers. He isn't allowed to drive so is more or less stuck at home. Told him if he wanted any company to give me a ring and I'd come round. Could even start a company sick ward - just need some pretty nurses {Rob ducks for cover}