I'm not going mad

Been on a mini-exercise freak out. Sunday morning was the referee in an U-15's Rugby match and swimming lesson on Sunday Evening.
My swimming instructor doesn't believe in making things easy for you. Warm up with 5 lengths then start doing lengths of the pool using backstroke. Oh the first half dozen was legs only! Once we were fully warmed up it was into sprint lengths. Its beginning to sound like a running session.

Talking of which I braved running outside yesterday. Bit of cross country over brick hard paths and trails with a couple of lumps thrown in for good measure. Hard work but felt good about myself at the end of it - 2.94 miles in 27:36 seconds. Not very long but a couple of them a week should see me getting back into the swing of things.

Went to see the shrink again today - this time with MrsW. He took her in for a chat leaving me outside to while away the time, so I help myself to BUPA's free coffee. When I got called in we talked a lot about the previous session and how I felt about seeing him. I think he had is diagnosis confirmed. I'm perfectly sane and don't have a psychiatric defect. It's more a case of suffering from burn-out and having difficulty recharging.

A lot of these problems come from me myself and the way I am. I have as he described it obsessive traits - not tendencies just traits. When I grasp onto something I don't let go off it until it's finished. I set myself high standards and beat myself up when I don't eet them. FLM05 is a case in point. A lot of people would give their right leg to do it in 4:21 - I'm was (and still am) ashamed of that run.

This puts a strain on the amount of mental energy I have or in scientific terms how much of certain chemicals I have stored in my brain. As I go through my day worrying about things and getting anxious the more energy I use and the less there is for working.

Basically I should lighten up. I fret and worry all the time what people think of me? am I doing a good job? Am I in trouble for something? wheras I sometimes I should just do something and be damned about it. To help me do this I've to start a course of cognitive therapy which should teach/train me into being more relaxed and going with the flow.

This is going to be interesting