Man with a whistle

Went running for the fun of it yesterday - well I think it was for the fun of it.

Went out via the disused railway line then out onto a country lane. Is it just me or do Country lanes always go up even when they look if they are flat? Lovely and quiet, me, my thoughts and a sharp, biting wind. Must run that route more often even if the homeward 3 miles are along a main road.

Put my new rugby referee knowledge to good use this morning. Ref'd 3 mini's games (U-10's). These were must first ever games of refereeing at rugby. Kept on getting in the way but it was fun. I even did the "main event" of the morning between BigW's team and another local team. BigW wasn't to pleased with me as I pinged him for picking the ball out of a ruck just as he crashed over the line. He's still giving me grief about it!

I used to be a Southern Counties Hockey Umpire before the arrival of small w and if I'm honest I missed it - not the travelling but the umpiring. MrsW is encouraging me to take up adult rugby refereeing. I've got the forms in front of me, just need to fill them in and send them off

Oh yeah wasn't the rugby great on Saturday !!!! {RobW wanders off humming "Oh flower of Scotland"}

Giovanni Recommends

Despite yesterday being my Birthday I was quite down in the dumps and its spilled over into today. Not quite up to going to work so I did some work at home.

Went out last night for a nice meal with MrsW to somewhere that we haven't been to for probably 10 years. This is a true Italian place. The owner is a complete madman and I mean MAD!!! His usual treatment of customers with birthday's is to have Happy Birthday played and for him to smash tin trays together above the head of the Birthday boy/girl. Fortunately MrsW didn't draw me to his attention.

This is also the kind of place that Giovanni would hang out with other members of his "family". There is a poster on the wall with a Godfather character and the phrase "When I want your opinion I'll give it to you". My funniest memory of eating there goes back many years to a works meal. The waiter asked someone how the food was, the guy sitting next to me jokingly said "So-so". Next thing that happens is the waiter is smacking the kitchen counter and reappears waving a meatcleaver under my colleagues nose!!!! All in jest I hasten to add.

Meal was fantastic if anyone is looking for good pasta or pizza in Portsmouth then you must go to the Pizza House in Hilsea.

Thanks everyone for there supportive comments. I feel a bit of a wimp pulling out of another marathon put hey we're not all marathon runners. I've found that the first every race I ran back in 1999, the St Dismas 10K is still going, though its now called the Two Saints 10K. Its a small race, accepts entries on the day and its only 4 weeks away. No pressure then. If feel good the day before I'll go, if I don't I won't. Simple really.

A marathon too far?

Today is my 37th Birthday - not that I'm feeling totally ecstatic today.

Went running last night or that's what I went out intending to do. Unfortunately it went badly wrong. Ran for 1.8 miles gave up and had a long cold walk back home. Something has been gnawing at me for the past 4 weeks and that is the thought of Lochaber and my poor form is putting pressure on me. I certainly don't have the bounce and energy I had this time last year. I don't think I've got the mental or physical stamina to train for this marathon.

I've covered almost all of my miles in the past year on my own. I want to run with someone, to run whatever distance takes my fancy on the day and at whatever pace. I don't want to think "Oh God I've got to do a 16 miler at the weekend" I want to go out and say "I'm out for a run anything between 20minutes to 2hrs"

The long and the short of it is I'm going to pull out of Lochaber.

I want to enjoy running.

Time to think

Its been over a week since I last posted so I'd better make this one a good one.

What have I been up to? Quite a lot actually.

Took 2 days holidays last week and finished flooring half the loft. See pictures below. I still need to run power up there but I'll get round to that next weekend hopefully.

Saw the Company Doc for a scheduled meeting, he was happy enough with my progress but thought it wise I stay on 25 hrs pw until my sleep settles down. He wants to see me again in 3 weeks time and until then keep to the 25 hrs, there is no rush.

Work still has its swings and roundabouts. A lot depends on what I'm doing. If someone asks me to do something on the spot it gets done and I enjoy it, but if I have a pile of work to do I have difficulty getting on with it. Had a few techie meetings to go to and made my presence felt (they are fun) In fact a few I have been invited to just so that I'm there to give advice - that sounds a bit big headed but you know what I mean. People are just happier if I'm there.

Took the rugby referees course yesterday, so unless I've done really badly on the written test paper I'm allowed to ref a rugby match. That will come in handy for doing games for BigW's age group, though someone did say the Vets quite often needed a ref. Talking of BigW he has certainly developed a front row's outlook to the game. He was sitting on the sidelines watching his team against their local rivals when all of sudden he started shouting encouragement, nothing wrong with that except he was shouting "Kill, Kill, Kill". When he played I felt sorry for his opposite number in the scrum, he was pushing him all over the place!

Managed a single 6 mile run, though I think I have come out of the CBA phase. I want to run now but been obstructed by domestic concerns Oh yeah the boiler's on the blink - Again!!

It has allowed me time to think. I've missed 3 weeks of training possibly because I wasn't enjoying myself. I put myself through the mill last year and didn't have a lot to show for it at the end. I'm not doing that this time.
I was following Hal Higdon's "Advance I" training plan but that's 6 days a week and was due to be 50 miles this week. I'm not prepared/capable of putting that level of training. So I've decided to drop down a couple of levels to the Intermediate I. I ain't running Lochaber to win it - I'm running it for the fun of it - and that includes the training.

After Lochaber is over I'm going back to doing 10K's - they don't take over your life so much

Liferaft spotted

[Whirr of chopper blades brings Rob alive]

OK I've been floating on the sea of self-pity for a couple of days. I took Wynthorpes advice and went out for a run of some description on Wednesday evening. That went alright except I came back with a blister on my heel and the heel cushioning on my shoe rubbing away. To make matters worse the blister became infected so no running since then. The infection has cleared but I'm still in a CBA mood.

Saw the Doc on Wednesday. Didn't asked to be signed off even though she did ask the direct "what do you want to do about work?" question. Settled on a comprimise I'm stepping back to 5 hours a day to allow me to have more time in bed and a bit of calm time before going into work. So far it seems to be working.

Sleep remains a problem I get about 5 hours then I wake up and can't really settle and worry about all sorts of things I haven't got MrsW Valentine card (sorted now!) what layout am I going to use in the loft? None of it really important but just stuff that pops into the head at 3 in the morning and won't go away.

Must run this evening. Perhaps I'll call MrsW and make sure she kicks me out the door....

Emergency Power

I've been in a serious CBA mood for a week now. I haven't run since last Wednesday and don't see myself running for a another couple of days yet. Sleepless nights are continuing. Its odd no matter what time I go to bed I wake up less than 5 hours later. Don't know what's causing it. It made work today a real struggle. I've also started eating a lot more than I normally do - comfort eating I suppose.

At times I question if I'm really tired or is it that I'm just lazy. I've got to go and see my Doc this week. She hasn't got any routine appointments left for this week so I have to phone first thing tomorrow and get a "on-the-day" appointment. This might not be that bad an idea as I can work from home in the morning until its time for my appointment. Chance to get some quiet time and maybe a bit longer in bed. I some ways I hope she signs me off - I could take some sick leave but I'd feel like a fraud. If she signs me off then the company won't actually let me into work so there won't be the I'm feeling better so I'll go in sooner temptation.

Pixie, if your reading this you'll want to stop now as you won't be interested in the next bit. Insultated and floored more of the loft on Saturday so I've now got space to build my train layout. The thin controller is really excited about it and has started a folder with all of the sketches of possible layouts we've thought of. Its my birthday in a couple of weeks time and I think I know what I'm getting - a train alright I choose it from the Hornby website and the thin controller wrote down the reference number. I think MrsW will be off with him to the model shop to get it soon.

Need to go now as MrsW is into really serious research mode and she wants on the computer!!

Company Doc

Another poor nights sleep last night. Woke up at 3 tossed and turned got back to sleep to wake up again at 5, tossed and turned and finally dragged myself out of bed at 7. Didn't stop yawning all day. Didn't help that I had a 2 hour minute that was so boring I was nodding off. I'll think I'll find a reason not to go to the next one!

Didn't run at lunchtime
1) The meeting overran so it was late and I was really hungry

2) I couldn't muster the energy to go

Went to see the company Doc this afternoon and he asked me how it was going. Good and bad was my response. Told him about me avoiding this document and sleepless nights.

His view was that I'm getting better but not up to full strength. Avoiding the document is probably down to me sub-conciously knowing I don't have the concentration levels to deal with it. Here and now concentration is fine but longer periods are a problem. He's recommended I stay on restricted hours ( 30pw ) until I see him again in 2 weeks time. We can then re-assess the situation.

Need to get off the computer now. MrsW wants to do some research!!

Confession Time

MrsW is out with the kids so I've got computer time. Her search for details on her ancestors is becoming relentless.

What I've I been up to?

Laid some new loft insulation and started flooring parts of the loft in preperation for the model railway I'm going to build up there.

Ran 8 miles on Monday HR said it was a comfortable pace (Ave 145) but the pace was quite reasonable at 8:42 m/m

Did some Hill work today - or perhaps I should say gentle incline work. I'm not very good at hills but someone did say you should practise what your not very good at.

Work has some teething problems. I've had a bit of work on my desk since I came back and I haven't touched it. I'm now getting chased by managers for this so I decided I'd better face up to it and told him that I hadn't done anythig with it, in fact I was avoiding working on it.

Its not because the work is difficult, its just that I can't seem to deal with it. Everything else seems to be OK, I'm chasing down issues, being active in discussions and making sound decisions, its just I can't face working on this document.

Well they say a problem shared is a problem halved, I may get someone to help me with it. I'll do the thinking part they can do the writing part.

I'm off to see the Company Doc tomorrow and I'll mention it to him. I've also got to go back to see my own Doc next week and we'll probably talk about it as well.