The Shrink

I've been taking some exercise of late, not a great deal but some none the less. Best has been 3 miles on the Treadmill yesterday and my Swimming lesson on Sunday. Swimming teacher decided to do endurance training but cunningly disguised as distance awards. Simply put swim as many lengths as you can in 15 mins. I managed 18 - not bad considering most of it was breaststroke. I've now got a 400m badge, though I don't think I'll be sewing it onto my towel.

Today was my visit to the Phsyciatrist ( aka the shrink ). I was apprehensive about this, what where we going to talk about? Maybe the subjects would be painful to talk about?

In a way some of my fears were realised but on the other hand some where laid to rest. We talked about my "breakdown" did it remind of anything from my childhood? We talked about my relations with my wife, children, parents and brother most of which I don't want to go into here.

There was some good news. He recgonised a few things as side effects of my medication.
Vivid dreams - so vivid I actually remember and believe things said in them.
Weight gain - Citalapram gives you carbohydrate cravings and can add a stone in weight quite easily.
Now I know this I can understand myself a bit better.

He isn't really sure what is causing my depression as there doesn't seem to be anything in particular - though he did single out that I seem to be emotionally fragile always afraid of being a failure. He has recommended that I see a cognotive therapists to try and improve on that.

He has come up with a couple of suggestions in the mean time

He thinks my body is running out of Citalapram during the morning and that I should take 20 mg in the evening and 20 mg in the morning. He's not even sure I should be on it, it may be causing more problems than it solves.

I've only have a reduced amount of mental energy (Synapsis (or something only have so much seratonin)- going hammer and tongs at something (as I can) will only exhaust it but there won't be warning signs. When exhausted it will be difficult to recharge - so no late night sessions on the computer. Rest and relaxation is the key

I've to go and see him next week, this time I've taken MrsW is to come with me as he wants to talk to her - hmm now that is a scary thought.......