Eating Elephants

I've often been told the thing about eating an elephant. If you try and eat it in one go you ain't going to do it. Cut it into small pieces and you will. I'm trying to put that into practise. Little steps all the time are better than aiming for one big one and failing.

I suppose I was rewarded yesterday for this when I was asked to move up a swimming class. I'm now in Adult Improver III. That bouyed me up a little. Work followed the same pattern. There are a few nasty problems in the test system and the pressure is on to get the answers. This is fair and square down my street.

I do seem to have adopted a new view on it. I've tried really hard not to look at all the problems at the one time. Just pick one to concentrate on and then delegate the others to other people in the team. I then ask how things are at various points of the day. More seems to get done. Having said that I've never really liked asking people to do things for me because it can seem like ducking your responsibilty. There seems to be a pattern forming here......

Been for a run!

Shock horror I actually went for a run this morning. Didn't really feel looking going for a run but I don't really want to be buying anymore new clothes because I'm too fat to wear my current ones. I seem to be putting on weight at about a lb or 2 a week!!

I know its my own fault putting too much in my mouth and not enough exercise. So I decided to start doing something about it.

It wasn't a long run 3.4 miles in 30 minutes, but it's a run. Didn't enjoy it but you never do when going back to something. Got a large blister on my heel as well for my troubles.

Anyway its done. Tomorrow is swimming and Monday will be cycling to work. Run on Tuesday, enough time for the blister to heal. I hope!

Hot and Bothered

It's been a while since I last blogged but I've been a bit busy.

Was part of the support crew for Leon, V-rap, Duck and Pixie at Trailwalker. They recorded a fantastic sub-26 hour walk. In some perverse way I really enjoyed being woken up at 1 in the morning and told to get the kettle on. I may even have to be support crew next year. The adventure is written up properly here.

What else have I been up to? Buying and assembling a trailer to carry all the camping stuff for our holidays in just over 2 weeks. Various house admin tasks and working.

Work still has its good days and bad days. The beginning of this week was good, all was not well with a test build so I got to look at what was wrong. With the help of others got it to the stage where it didn't need quite so much of my time. Wednesday was a bad day couldn't get going and seemed to drift through the day. Today I was at an all-day off-site meeting. It was OK chipped in when I needed to, otherwise play with the laptop wireless connection - reading e-mails.

Now for the main part.
Had an appointment with the company Doctor last week. This time with my boss. My boss had a half hour chat with the doc and Human resources without me first. This was one of the most uncomfortable meetings I've had. I struggle to work out if it was good or bad.

My performance at work is not what it used to be, so its a sign that I'm still not altogether better. So I'm to be put on a "Performance Improvement Plan" or a PIP as a way of monitoring my progress. To me this carries a great deal of stigma. A PIP is normalled reserved for people that are not pulling their weight and are in danger of being sacked for poor performance. I'm not in danger of this - I'm on this because I need help in getting better, but I don't like the idea of not being trusted and being monitored. I found the thought of this so distressing that I actually started crying in the meeting.

The doctor is also unhappy with my recovery. He feels that I have entered a plateau stage. I've got 80% of the way back, but I still have problems that need resolving. What the problems are he doesn't know and he feels that I'm unable to recognise the problems for what they are. To this end he has recommended that I see a Pyschologist for a proper in-depth probing. Again I see this as having a stigma I know I shouldn't but I do. Perhaps that's part of my problem I see failures or weaknesses by me as some kind of dishonour, causing me to question my value. instead I should just see them as the things that make us human. After all a few people have said I can be hyper-critical of myself.

I go see my own doc next week and she'll do the referal. The company health insurance want be to see a Pyschiatrist first before they'll pay for a Pyschologist . Mad ain't it!

Is the blog broken

Just noticed that my blog doesn't seem to be working!!!

Maybe a new post will help.

Long Time No Blog

Is it really 2 and a bit weeks since my last entry? So what's been happening?

Using an aviation term I've been suffering from light to moderate turbulance over the past couple of weeks. On one occasion I got home from work and just wanted to cry. Don't know why just wanted to. Ok I suppose I know what was up this business of the apprasial it was starting to cause me stress, added with the fact that I was to be put on a Performance improvement plan (PIP). This was a real jolt to the confidence.

Fortunately my boss went to see the company doctor and the doc explained in no uncertain terms that I should not be appraised or put on a PIP. I think my boss was quite relieved about that as it gave him a get out of jail free card with both HR and the customer. What I do have is a chat between me, the comapny doc, the boss and HR. The point of the chat is to see what has to be done to get me better at work, not how long it will be.

Another source of stress has been MrsW going for a job interview. Its at the boys school as Learning Support Assistant, we'd been on tenterhooks to see if she got invited for interview and then we she did the wait for the job interview itself, its been a long time since MrsW has been interviewed for anything. The great news is she got the job!!! We are both very pleased with that. Since then I've been sleeping better and am a bit happier alround.

OK that's the tough stuff over with.

I'm helping out as a supporter for Four Fit Females or is it Four Fit Friends at trailwalker in just under 2 weeks time. I'm really looking forward to this, bit of an adventure camping out without the kids and driving around Hants and Sussex. The best bit is I get to meet some bloggers for the very first time.

I've also turned into a bit of a computer geek. Spent most the evenings last week restoring an old computer into service as a Linux Web, FTP and File server. I've even taken the step of registering it with a Dynamic IP DNS service, so i could even get access to it from work - that would however get me into a bit of bother ;-)

Anyway I've probably bored you enough so I'll sign off at that